Adventures of Spooky Juice: Hell's Kitchen Super

My Super Spooky Juice is at it again. I haven't had an adventure with this upstanding gentlemen since my vacay to Myrtle Beach with my family. Nonetheless, Spooky still wants his sugar. The latest development is that he is deathly afraid of black lingerie and that is why I am trying to invest in it.

Well it is spring and Spooky Juice is more ornery than ever. This is how today's exchange went:

Spooky Juice: You look so good.

Me: Why thank you, Spooky Juice.

Spooky: You look so good that this is mental torture for me.

I laugh

Me: Well Spooky, I am sure I don't look that good. Stop thinking so hard.

Spooky: I have been playing around with this spy cam lately. Want to see?

Me: I am not sure I want to know.

Spooky: Relax it's not pornography.

Me: With you I never know.

Spooky: Look at this guy dancing without music.

Spooky turns on the camera. Spooky is dancing like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

Spooky: See me dance

Me: You are such a bad dancer.

We both laugh

Spooky: What color underwear are you wearing?

Me: Black.

Spooky: If it was black I could see it. Tell me the truth or I won't show you any more of my dancing videos.

Me: Now Spooky, don't make promises we both know you can't keep.

Spooky and I laugh

Spooky: I read your blog. You like being single. You said you wanted a vibrator. Let me be your vibrator, baby.

Me:Thank you for the generous offer but I have to pass.

Spooky and I laugh. End scene.

Truth be told last night some fat drunk dude approached me on the street offering me anal. Spooky was slightly smoother. I will give the man that much credit.

AprilI Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
www.youtube.com/aprilthestarr
Portion of proceeds go to Greenpeace

PS. Book signing at Brown Bookstore Saturday May 25 from 4-6. Be there or be square
 

Adventures of Spooky Juice: Hell's Kitchen Super

This morning I had my daily encounter with Spooky Juice, my super. Spooky Juice has requested that we call him Spooky Juice and is eating up his new found kinda, sorta, fame in blog land. Anyway, I woke up late this morning because I was busy doing what I usually do, work myself to death. This was how today’s adventure with Spooky Juice transpired. He not only likes the notoriety, but he is now taking creative control of his online presence.

Players:

Spooky Juice: West Indian super from Guyana who is always into some mischief and is quite frankly spooky. Always wears a work shirt that has been burned in various places.

Me: Overworked woman living in Hell’s Kitchen with her costumes and twelve puppets. Exceptionally wonderful with crazy people.

Begin Scene

Spooky Juice is on sidewalk

Spooky Juice approaches

Spooky Juice: My friend. I want some of your spooky juice.

Me: That’s your name.

Spooky Juice moves in to try to get a smooch.

Spooky Juice grabs my hand

Spooky Juice: I sat outside your door the other day.

Me: That was you ringing the bell?

Spooky Juice: Yes

Me: I was this thing called asleep. And that was truly spooky of you.

Spooky Juice: Expect me to be spooky.

We both laugh

Spooky Juice: Did you get the jokes I sent you? I want you to start using them in your blog?

Me: Yes.

Spooky Juice: You promised me my blog would be up yesterday. What happened? Where was the blog where I was the star? I read your blog about fuck my fucking vegetables a week ago and thought oh my God. Then I read your other blog about you kissing that guy with long hair.

Me: Sorry to break your heart, Spooky Juice.

Spooky Juice: No, that is okay. I just read the part where you almost got arrested taking the easy pass. What happened there, your friend didn’t have her sticker?

Me: No, she had it but she was out of money on it, so we backed up and went to another toll booth. We shouldn’t have done it and the cop appeared out of no where. Jessica didn’t get a ticket though.

Spooky Juice: I am glad. I want you to be safe. I have to send you the joke about why people think fucking is bad. I mean I don’t get why fucking is bad. It is just fucking. We make fucking bad.

Me: That is a very spooky thing to say.

Spooky Juice: Well I am Spooky Juice. Now put up my blog today.

We both laugh

End scene.

 LoveApril

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
www.youtube.com/aprilthestarr
Portion of proceeds go to Greenpeace