Love

It never amazes me how much love I have in my life on a regular basis. Sometimes, I am so immersed in my bullshit I forgot how much love there truly is in my life.

There is my family. Sure, they are all nuts but they would take a bullet for me.

There are my friends who's creativity, talent, and generosity never cease to amaze me.

There are my housemates, who, while both crazy, are always my listening ears.

There is my boss who calls me at all hours for deliveries, but legit cares about everyone who orders a telegram and everyone who works for him.

There are my fellows in my MFA program, who are studious about the written word and equally as passionate about social justice.

There are my fellows in the comedy world, OCD about every word and every punchline, but excited like children in a toy store each time they step onstage.

There are my fellows in the acting world, anal about craft, but because they care so much about the wordsmith who wrote the script and honoring them.

There are my fellows in the activism world, who sometimes can be obnoxious but really truly want to make the world a better and more beautiful place.

There are those who mentor me in my career, who never let me get off easy, often too honest, but only because they want the best product possible.

There are those who help with my shows. Sometimes they make me crazy in their own way, but their way of pulling the extra weight and dealing with my crazy are incredible.

There are my fan boys who are not afraid of a flame war on my social media, but make my social media what it is.

Sometimes I am mired in my own fog, my own mind, my own bullshit, that I forget to see all the love in my love.........

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Don't Smoke

Back in the day before I wore my Dickey's Dress out, I was trying to be cool. My photographer friend Terry Snee took this photo. I wanted to look like a bad ass so I asked him for an artificial cigarette. Terry obliged. My mother, of course, was horrified.

Her reaction was one of pure anger. I was living in NYC away from her reach. She demanded to know if I smoked.

I lied and said I never had. The reality was I tried it during theatre camp and wasn't impressed. When I moved to New York, I tried to take up smoking to impress a dude. I also found it calmed my anxiety because ironically it makes you slow down and breathe. My whole life I have struggled with anxiety in some shape and form. Of course I only smoked sparingly once I discovered booze and binge eating had the same effect. But both made me gain weight, plus they made cardio harder.

I didn't want to tell my mom I had smoked here and there because she was a trainer. And also I didn't want to hear all the blah, blah, blah, about how it killed a few of my family members. I had one cousin who was caught smoking who had to visit his grandmother with lung cancer in some hospital and the story sounded depressing but also hit in a place where my stupid lay all too comfortable.

These days I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I eat healthy. But you got to admit, a cigarette does look damn cool on camera. Smoking makes you a dumb ass, not a bad ass. Yet the look is classic.

This photo made several guys who dumped me run on back. It made me get a shit ton of creepy fan mail. As I read my creepy fan mail asking if they could have sex with me and my puppets I thought, "Fuck you ex boyfriends, I don't need you. I have stalkers."

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New and Exciting

I know I haven't blogged in a while. It has been a mix of a lot of things. One is March saw a lot of death. I lost 2 people I knew to cancer in a week. One was a Las Vegas Director friend who helped me shoot a pilot. The other was a comedy club manager who gave me faith and food when I had none.

Then I had the stomach flu and work was insane. I didnt have a morning to sleep in let alone a moment to myself. Not to mention winter was like the party guest who wouldn't leave. You know, the annoying idiot who's boyfriend never lets her talk and now we know why? Oh and she kept double dipping which was so gross.

And then there was the rain. Yes, the rain was the downer party guest who probably worked in publishing that went to a preppy backup school that had a chip on her shoulder that she didn't get into Brown or her parents couldnt afford NYU. She not only just stayed with winter, but just had something negative to say the entire time.

YUCK!

Then of course I have been writing two books. More on that later. When you are writing a book, that mission is your book. It's like you are Rambo back from Vietnam dodging the cops. Except I do not have his prowess let alone emotional problems. Rambo is hot. He would be a good looking mistake.

God I have had too many of those in my life and times. But two books, does that make me more macho than Chuck Norris?

Anyway, I have an awesome show at the Duplex on June 21. It's my show The Lady and President Tramp. We have Donald J. Tramp. We have Kellyanne Oneway, Mexican President Don Juan De Casanova De Gorgita, Mike Dispence, supporters, protesters, and even a weirdo named Vlad that calls.

I have been working steadily on my show and am so proud of all I have done. Two my life was a lot different, and not in a way that was productive. If you want to know what I have been through, read my previous blogs. Either way, I am grateful for all I have today.

(God/Goddess is good, all the time)

The tickets are available here https://www.purplepass.com/index.php#157539/The_Duplex-The_Lady_and_President_Tramp_-__April_Brucker-The_Duplex_Cabaret_Theatre-June-21-2017.html

And if you plan on coming to surprise me, the address is 61 Christopher Street. Stalkers welcome.

Either way, I am closing this post with my photo of the week. Someone said I looked like Belle from Beauty and the Beast before their big outing. Now if I am the beauty, who will be my beast. Tear me up, Buttercup. MWAH!

And before I forget, moment of silence for those lost in the Pulse Nightclub Shooting. One year has passed and it is still difficult. Saw the memorial last year at Pride and I thought I was going to vomit.