Dear World

Dear World,
April is afraid of relationships after her ex made her choose the ventriloquism or him. Granted, he was a cheating and lying fool who did nothing but abuse April verbally, physically, and mentally. Not to mention he was fat and totally sucked when it came to pleasing her. I know because I was on the shelf the entire time. What to do? Should I put her on match.com. Sincerely, May Wilson