Bonus Meme

Just a bonus meme that I concocted. 

This 'n' That

I filmed my big DVD Tuesday and am still coming down from the high. Wednesday saw me tired and barely able to move. Thursday I was kind of back. Friday night I went to bed and just didn't move. It is kind of a weird sensation. Friday morning on my jog Bill Evans did buy me coffee though. On Friday he buys everyone coffee. It was good that he did that. The post show withdrawl and depression was starting to set in.

Yeah, the withdrawl has been strange. I walk down the street and don't hand post cards to people I know. My hands are free which is bizarre. I also have these feelings of depression that come out of no where. It hits me that I am broke ass broke, and am not as far along as I thought I would be. Granted, I have done a lot in my career. I have done things I never thought I would do. I was on TV Thursday. It was awesome. Still, I thought....I dunno.....Being on TV would mean my bank account would know about it too sometimes. I thought it would mean I would have to hustle for work less and not worry about money. Neither one of these things were true. Hell, when I was on Rachael Ray and they were showing my reruns I was handing out fliers in the cold, paying my breakfast with my laundry money, and having club owners dodge my phone calls.

On the other hand, I am thrilled. Since I was a kid I wanted to make a DVD of my live show. Taylor Mason did it. I was sixteen when I saw it. The men who fixed my mom's car were huge ventriloquist fans, and followed Taylor Mason. In my opinion, he is the most underrated man in comedy as well as the vent world. Yeah, they respect him, but he doesn't get as much tout as Fator and Dunham. Probably because he sticks with churches and such. Still, he's funny. Now I made a DVD. Granted, the process almost killed me. Still,it's been a dream of mine and it is something comedy fans buy. I had a good night, too. Afterwards, I felt like Rocky after a big fight, bloodied and bedraggled but somehow I came out a winner. Yeah, Apollo Creed didn't win this time.

I am in transition right now and am scared, excited, frustrated, but happy. I am starting a new sports broadcasting job via internet. This is awesome because I like sports. I am also releasing my DVD which is cool. I am hoping my fans buy it and it gets me better bookings. Also, I am starting a teaching job. Like the broadcasting job, it's not bukoo bucks but it's steady money and that's what I want and need. I also do a theatre the weekend after Memorial Day. I have always wanted to do that as well. So these are four things I have always wanted to do. I have always wanted to do sports broadcasting, be a community activist, release a DVD and tour theatres. My act is more suited to that. Additionally, I did well in a second interview for something. Hopefully I get it.

I am just waiting for the next big thing in my life. I have come so close and have never gotten it. People know who I am and what I do, but I am ready for that next jolt. The scary thing about being in transition though is that the money is not coming in quite yet. I will see some when my DVD is released. I will see some when the sports job starts. I will see some when the teaching job starts. I will see some when I do my theatre and start booking others. So it's going to come. Granted, I am not fixated on money but there is no worse feeling than being recognized by a fan and having your rent check bounce. Hashtag uncool.

On top of that, I was almost rolled by a green card seeking prick. I feel hurt because there was a part of me that liked him as a person, and knows my friendship was real on my end. He never saw me as a friend, only an opportunity to get what he wanted. I just feel angry and hurt. On top of that he mentioned he thought I was rich because I had been on TV. Ha ha! Jokes on him. On top of that he knew I had a hard time in my past when it came to men and viewed me as an easy target. I wasn't easy enough not to open my eyes.

 Everytime I believe there are good men out there, they prove me wrong. I am okay with being alone, not being used. I blocked his ass online, and hopefully now he has found a new woman to scam with his tricks. He believes in magic, right? I do too. Watch his ass become a puppet.

I know it's gonna get better and something is gonna click. It has to. I'm working too hard.
Love
April
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
www.aprilbrucker.com

Suavecito (Malo)

I kind of went out on a date a while ago. It was fun and crazy. I don't do it often. Between my schedule, awkward shyness, and distrust of men it hardly ever happens. Actually, I am becoming less distrustful. I have been through a lot. However, it doesn't define me. Still, my makes me see the worst in people off the bat.

This dude and I started as friends and things progressed. A little voice in my head saw this was a bad idea. Still, it had been a long, terrible winter. We went out. We had fun. He was a complete gentlemen. The only time I have seen this is when guys have either gotten out of jail or have an ulterior motive. Very rarely are they true gentlemen. He spent money on me he didn't have. This was reminiscent of an ex of mine who was a pathological liar and had a Mr. Ripley complex. It felt weird. Did he rob it from an old woman?

I hate it to begin with when a man pays for me. It makes me feel strange. It makes me feel like he wants to be paid too. It doesn't feel like a treat but rather a gun to my head. I know the game.

Well people around me warned me he had an ulterior motive because he wasn't a citizen. I didn't want to believe it. However, as time went on I did. For starters, he wanted to be my boyfriend right away which is a bad sign. Whenever someone wants to rush you into a relationship, it means they are not looking for their next lover but next victim. He also wanted me to hang out in his neighborhood, probably to show off as a trophy to his friends. I also went to his facebook page. I have never seen someone post pictures and tell so many American women that he loves them. WOW! Oh, and then at the same time he was going back and fourth having a salacious conversation with a girl from his home village.

I never took him seriously. The age gap was significant. Rather, I had been a friend to him when a lot of people weren't. I treated him like a person and a lot of people don't. What makes me angry is my friendship was sincere with no motive, and he thought he could use me for his own gain. Yeah, I get it. You want to be a citizen. I get it, the laws aren't fair. My assistant just got his papers. But to use someone that was kind to you? To think I was stupid enough that you could snow me? To have an ulterior motive, and that was the only reason you were ever friends with me? When I gave him the heave ho he posted this thing on his timeline that said, "Those who don't believe in magic never find it." Yeah, blame your devious notion on me. Have a little bitch fit, Sir.

For a minute I regretted treating him like a person. I always treat people like people no matter who they are or where I meet them. Most of the time it pays off. They treat me kindly back. I am friends with my deli people, my cart dude, my grocery store folks, my super, etc. I treat people with dignity in respect no matter what position they have and no matter how much or little money might be in their name. This is why this was like a stab in the back and a knife to the gut. So maybe I should stop treating people like people, right?

No. All people should be treated like people. And then there are some who will view your kindness as weakness. This happens no matter what a person's race, age, gender, class, or station in life. He was an idiot and user. I don't regret being kind because I can look at myself in the mirror. He uses women for his own gain, and will always have to look behind his back for as long as he lives. Thank God he didn't become my boyfriend. He would have been showing up unannounced at my house demanding I feed him. Or worse, he was probably going to try to weasel his way into my life. The cherry on top of the cake would have been if I got a hate note from one of his little tricks he was leading on. He believes in magic, remember?

I still feel the sting of being used. However, that will fade. Especially when he is stuck playing the same games over and over again. Or maybe the village tartlet will come to his rescue. She can cook, clean, ride a donkey, and she will believe every lie that comes out of his mouth. I will continue to treat everyone I meet with dignity and respect, but rest assured I am never making that mistake with him again.

So he's a user, a loser, a douche bag.....Or how about a Suavecito. That's one word he will understand.

Love
April
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
www.aprilbrucker.com

Vatos Locos Forever

When I was a kid I was forced to take a language in school. To us it was torture. We lived in America, that was the attitude. Why the hell would we need to know Spanish unless we were ordering tacos. And it was "Oh say can you see?" Not "Jose can you see?" That was what one of my scholar classmates pointed out. As for French, you know the old joke about the French army marching into battle with their hands up. Then there was Latin, the dead language I wanted to take but it had no AP counterpart. What can I say, I am a dork who likes useless skills and to translate stuff. As for the German language, Nazi much. Granted, it is a negative stereotype but it didn't help that the German teacher was a blatant racist.

Our seventh grade Spanish teacher was actually a neat lady. She had been a foreign exchange student in Spain in high school. When she was in college, she swam for some Division I school and lived in Mexico to train with their swim team for a year. However, I was thirteen and her class was first thing in the morning. Getting us to participate was like pulling teeth, especially since our area was pretty conservative. Most parents were anti-immigrant. Our teacher, who was worldly, pointed out that it was best to learn the language because Latinos would be the biggest minority group soon. We responded that they should just learn English like our ancestors did. She maintained a good attitude, but if I were a Spanish teacher in middle America I would blow my brains out.

High school Spanish, I was more into it. Our Spanish teacher was a smart ass who had a Spaniard husband. She knew we weren't into it, so she was totally awesome. We would begin class with, "Bues dias los animales." Translated, "Good morning, animals." And then we watched this video about some chica and her quinceanera. Of course some dude named Ramon comes to save the day. She said, "Oh well Carmen has a happy ending. But later on she probably went on to get knocked up by some slick Ramon." So politically correct but probably so true. Either way, she made me laugh.

When I got to New York, I realized a lot of people spoke Spanish around me. They chattered it effortlessly on the streets. Most of the people in the stores spoke Spanish as did many of the people who lived in the city in general. Knowing simple Spanish got me far a lot of the time, whereas other people who took French or German were lost as hell. As time went on, I made friends who spoke Spanish. They taught me new words and helped me keep sharp. In my neighborhood salon, my friends are from Chile, Colombia, Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico. There is also a Spanish eatery around the corner. They used to get people from all Spanish speaking walks of life. One dude was illegal from Mexico and was talking about walking for weeks because he had no papers. Again, knew no English. Plus my dear friend Chacho Vasquez was Cuban, and he used to fight with his brother Roberto in Spanish. So actually, just by being around people who spoke it my Spanish was better than when I was taking it daily in high school. I would have to say it is the class I easily use daily.

I also don't have a TV and fell in love with Spanish Gangster flicks. That is my vice second to Lifetime these days. A few years ago, I was tired from a long day of work when I discovered Blood In, Blood Out. At the time I was working a puppet job in Queens Village. I casually mentioned this to my coworker, a friend who was Puerto Rican and Italian named Pablo. He was like, "That is the best movie ever." While I don't think it is the best ever, it is pretty good. I have seen it enough to know every line. Same with Mi Vida Loca and Mi Familia. I kind of know every line. It's bad and funny at the same time. And Spanish is better to insult people in than English. It has such flavor. Calling someone a chorizo pig and then listening to him lie about how many rucas he has.

So basically the class I detested taking in high school helps me every day. I learned Spanish from a bunch of hairdressers, a few illegals, and a dead gay drug dealer. Oh and from Spanish Gangster flicks. Politically correct. not so much. LOL. No mi gusta trabajar pero, yo quiero dinero ese.

Translate that puntos.

Love
April
www.aprilbrucker.com
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl