Father's Day Blog

My father is a great man. So great I don't blog about him. In part it's because I don't want him to know I have a blog, because unlike my mother he is quite computer literate. Translated, he will be on here and commenting. Additionally, my father is kind of private. Then again, most amazing people are.

My dad is a great singer. When he was a kid, he sang all the solos in his church choir. Because this was before Vatican II, my dad did all of his singing in Latin. When I was a kid, he would sing for us occasionally. He has a nice voice, a mix between base and tenor where the head voice and chest voice co-operate with each other. If you know anything about singing and are reading this, you know what I mean. My Pops used to be pulled out of class by the nuns to give performances at funeral masses, and sang solos at Christmas and Easter. His choir even made  record. While he didn't choose to pursue music, he still does sing and anyone and everyone is impressed by his voice.

My dad after giving a private concert for Stevie Wonder. Although he cannot see my dad is feet in front of him, he's impressed. 

My dad also has really awesome friends. One of his besties, a dude by the name of Mr. Rebel went on vacation with us along with his wife. It was pretty cool because they brought their biker friends. Growing up, my dad had all sorts of cool friends. One was a guy we called Uncle Mac. Uncle Mac had been a Union guy, and he had crossed paths with Jimmy Hoffa. Mr. Hoffa and Uncle Mac didn't agree on a great many things, so Jimmy Hoffa blew up his car. My dad also met John Glenn through Uncle Mac, yes the astronaut. Once a Nigerian scammer wrote me online that my father was a great man. At first I thought the scammer was pulling my leg. Then I realized he and my pops probably met on one of his many adventures.

My Pops just chilling with Bruce Willis. 

When I was sixteen, I worked in my dad's office. Yes, he is a lawyer. Anyway, my dad had some characters who would call. I can't tell you about those or I will have to kill you. Because he is a litigator, my dad has also had some high profile clients. Many who would normally condescend treat my father with the utmost respect. I won't name drop but the photo will say it all.

My dad just won a case for The Rock. He was so impressed he asked to take a photo with my father. 

These days, my dad does some prosecuting work. However, he describes his job as being in law enforcement. My dad is just being humble. What he means to say is that he fights crime. Over the years I have gotten to know some of my dad's crime fighting friends. They are awesome.

My dad and The Hulk are about to depart on one of their crime fighting adventures. 

So my point is, my dad is better than yours.

 Sorry, someone had to tell you. Happy Father's Day Dad. Enjoy an episode of Big Battles on me.


 Love, April

My Dad Says the Darnest Things

In honor of Father's Day, there's are direct quotes from my Pops:

10. “Bottom line, Mitt Romney is a poser. He never did mission work. He lived in a condo with a manservant. That says poser all over it.”

9. Me: “Rick Perry is anti-American, Anti-Gay, and Anti-Woman.”

    Dad: “Honey, Rick Perry is so stupid he is lucky he knows how to breathe. He just stands there during the debates like duh, duh, duh.”

8. “Kids, smoking is bad for you. It’s like having a cake and taking a shit in the middle of the cake. If I ever catch you smoking, I will take this board and beat your ass, understand?”

7. One time my dad cooked for my mom for Mother’s Day. He attempted scrambled eggs and this is what happened

Brenna: “Dad, there are shells in these eggs.”

Dad: “Just shut up and eat them.”

6. “A liar can never be trusted. He who lies in big things lies in small things. And if you associate yourself with a liar, you are a liar by association. Got it kids?”

5. “Kid, your grades were bad this term. You are sucking bottom. Look on the bright side though, I am sucking bottom with you.”

4.  My dad’s advice to me after breaking up with an ex of mine who couldnt stop lying,“April, let that loser you seeing go wherever he is going, because frankly, he doesn’t even know where he is going.”

3. My Dad after I broke up with my lawyer boyfriend: “April, to tell you the truth I don’t like most lawyers. They are mentally unstable, are lousy with money, and I can’t stand them and I am one. You need an accountant. They have a job, are good with money, and aren’t idiots.”

2.” Kids, when someone won’t work, wears a toupee, has glue on chest hair, and wears gold chains, that is someone you should never date let alone marry. Understand?”

1.” Kids, when someone says no one understand them, it means they are an asshole and everyone knows it.”