An Open Letter to the Muslim Doctors Who Helped Me

To the Muslim Doctors That Helped Me:

I would like to open this letter with my gratitude. Not only for your service and commitment to science, helping others, and the advancement of technology, but for treating me with compassion during one of the worst personal/medical times in my life.

A year ago, I was in a bad living situation. I was living with bed bugs and mold. Instead of taking care of it, my landlord thought he would run me out. That way he could jack the rent up in my apartment. One which I had lived in without incident for 10 years. When I called The City on him, he proceeded to torment me through the legal system. I was in court once a week with this man. He proceeded to follow me around the neighborhood, until one day he told me that he wouldn't stop until he saw me homeless. While in court, he attempted to burn my apartment down after going through my things. He knew where I was going to be. This was the perfect opportunity for his wish to come true.

Due to the stress I had to endure, my health began to fail. My hair was falling out, and I was so stressed I could not digest my food properly. I could not sleep, and when I did I feared bugs were crawling all over me. Often I was so weak I couldn't make it up the stairs, and routinely fainted/passed out. Not to mention I had problems breathing. Do to the stress and poor diet as well as lack of self-care, a test for cancer came back for a certain virus that causes a certain type of cancer. Often, abnormal tests are triggered by stress and a broken down immune system as was the case in my particular situation.

During my first visit to the doctor, I was scared. You often are when you fear they will find something deathly wrong with you. I told the nurse this. Then you walked in. Yes, my Muslim doctor. You heard I was afraid of doctors, and to put me at ease walked in without your robe. In order to get me to relax, and made me laugh. Then you asked what brought me to you. I told the truth. You listened with compassion, and no judgement. By the way you spoke to me, I could tell you cared. At that point in my life, no one else did. You discussed doing some tests to find out why I was so tired, and you told me regardless of what you found, we were going to design a treatment plan so that I could be healthy again.

My second visit contained my test results. This time I had a second doctor. Another Muslim doctor. This one female. It was because my first was back home to visit his family in his home nation. This young woman was fresh out of medical school, and discussed a treatment plan. She told me I was going to be alright, and suggested vitamin supplements that could help me. She also suggested a higher iron diet, and perhaps moving out of my unhealthy situation. While I didn't walk out of there cured, I had a plan. I was going to be okay.

A year later I am healthy. I am out of my horrific living situation. My hair has grown back. As well, I no longer faint and am running anywhere from 2-5 miles a day, depending. I am also weight training. My diet contains more iron, fruits, and vegetables.

I also want to express gratitude for the fact you saw me as a patient, and did not judge me by the color of my skin. You cared about my well-being as a doctor should. As a matter of fact, I kept my same insurance so I could keep you as my doctors. That being said, I apologize for the closed minded bigotry of the leader our country has picked, and I apologize for the Islamophobia that you have experienced at the hands of others.

I also know that Isis does not speak for all practitioners of your faith, just as Army of God and the KKK do not speak for all Christians, my faith. If you are what we are letting in when Muslims come, I say let more in. You are welcome in the America I know and that I grew up to understand. Thank you for being so willing to contribute, even though so many of us are not so kind back.

This summer in Cleveland I was able to march against Trump when he got his nomination. There were shirts that said, "Muslim Doctors Save Lives." I know this to be true.

Thank you for saving mine.

April

The Lady and President Tramp
Monday February 20, 2017 7PM
Dont Tell Mama
343 W. 46 Street

Fourth of July, Day After...

I had my big event last night. It turned out to be a lot of fun. The week and a half leading up to it had been taxing on my psyche. My work schedule had been like gang busters, pouring down on me. I enjoy all the people I work with and all I do. However, I have been so exhausted lately because I have been going nonstop for the last three months.

On the other hand, rent is basically paid, I just have to give it to my landlord. And all the hard work has been worth it. Finally, after all this time I am getting close to where I need to be.

Last night was amazing. My coworkers are wonderfully talented, but most importantly, giving performers as well as people. They were so gracious to help me with my signing event. My boss was especially wonderful to be a part of things as well. And Don't Tell Mama, each member of the staff was GREAT. My turn out was awesome as well. At the end of the night, I only had two books left.

My coworkers lit up the show. Caroline Durham, are burlesque and cabaret vet, rocked it with her three short numbers. And an extra award for her keeping me sane. Lynn McCune was amazing as she did a routine where she started as a pink gorilla, went to a tux, and ended as Cher. Bernard Davis was a better looking blonde than I was, and gave me a stylized singing telegram. Jon Shipley was amazing as my boss giving my friend Ethan a singing telegram lesson. And of course May Wilson.....what a girl.

Before the show I was stressed and crazy, afterwards I was scrambled egg brains. Things are beginning to slow. I am already planning my next big thing. How crazy am I? I am lucky I didn't die these last few months I was so busy. But here I am, getting my ducks in line for the next thing. Here I am, jogging past Carnegie Hall because I know it will be me up there someday. Here I am telling my damn assistant to plan on coming to Australia to the Sydney Opera House with me next year.

But before that, I think I need to chill out and perhaps go to the pool. That is, if I can get my ass out of bed first. Everyone deserves a rest, including myself. That being said, I think I can catch up on homework this weekend or something. And because my dance card is less full, I now have time to dedicate to some of my studies.

Oh the life of a creative person.

Happy 4th, people. 

Blind Sided

The last few weeks things have been going like gang busters in my life. Work has been insane. At the middle of April I recorded my DVD. Then after that, the telegrams really picked up which was good. Of course I also did a theatre at the end of May, so the whole month was spent prepping for that. I also started a new sports broadcasting gig at Ranter. As a result, I covered the Stanley Cup and am now covering the World Cup. After that, I headlined a theatre for two nights in Long Island, killing both but commuting an hour and a half back and fourth. Then I booked a national television show. Filmed a music video. After that I did a photo shoot with a guy from Hearst. Oh, and then I filmed a short film where I did voice and puppet work with some folks from the Harvard documentary lab. On top of that I am doing an advanced level show business class and a graduate level publishing seminar. Yes I have to do homework for both.

I also recorded several podcasts and mini web shows in there as well.

Did I mention I am organizing a NYC book signing?

I haven't stopped for nearly two and a half months. I love the work I am doing, and the people I am working under and working alongside are amazing. However, these kernels of excitement go out the window when you are exhausted. And for the last two days I have felt like I have been a sherpa hauling something up a mountain. Just nonstop. Monday I found myself especially moody. It was hot. People were rude. I couldn't take it.

This morning was super tough. I slept more than I had in some time. I had a morningish delivery. Did I want to get out of bed and schlepp three blocks to work? Hell no. It was three blocks, but I was feeling indignant. All I did was work. On top of that I had school in the evening and my homework was 3/4 done but I still had one thing to do. The delivery went okay. But the paranoia of being exhausted was sinking in. Would they call my boss and say I sucked? I made a joke about the company? Would they be offended? Then I remembered coffee was not a food group for as much as I wanted it to be. Either way, I felt super duper off center.

Just when I thought I could sit on my ass, watch Netflix, and complete my homework my boss called. Second telegram. Ordinarily, I am glad for the work, but I had a severe case of the fuck its. Not to mention I was in no mood to wear makeup and it was a birthday cake show girl. Anyway, I got my costume and off I went.

On my way there, I saw a blind woman as I was crossing the street. She looked like she was going to cross. At first, I wanted to see if I could possibly cross her, but it's New York and I was in a hurry. She kept sticking her hand in and out and I wasn't sure what she was doing. Was she seeing if it was safe to cross? Either way, the poor thing was so confused. She was helpless. Something told me to step in and try to assist.

I asked her, "Do you need me to cross you, m'am?"

"No, I need a cab." She replied.

"Can I get you one?" I asked her. The way she was hailing she would have been there all day. She was doing the smart thing of standing out of the street, but it's the only way in New York City cabs will see you.

"If you see one." She said.

I stepped into the street and hailed a cab. Within seconds, it came to us. "Here you go, m'am." I said as the cab stopped in front of us.

"Can you guide me over. I'm blind." The woman explained in case I had forgotten.

"Sure." I took her hand and guided her towards the cab. I opened the door, in she went and off she went. Suddenly, the rotten mood I had been in vanished. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. In my tired mood, I had become sucked into my own selfish little world and had become an eternal professional victim. I was the female Sisyphus, holding the world on my shoulders. No wonder I was in such a pissed off mood.

In my maximum pissage, I had thrown my gratitude out the window. The poor blind woman probably would have done anything to switch places with me. I can see and she can't. That's the obvious. But there are evil people who might try to hurt her because she is a disabled woman.

At that moment I realized my life was really good. I work hard, but it is starting to pay off. For starters, I absolutely rocked the second telegram I did. And I am doing a book signing/show with my coworkers and boss on July 3 at Don't Tell Mama @ 7:30 where my boss is going to give me a singing telegram lesson. Plus I get paid to dress up in a costume, sing and make people happy almost daily.

I also filmed a DVD at a venue Liza Minelli and Joan Rivers have been known to stop into. Soon to be released.

I get to follow sports and rant about them, two things I love and now get paid to do.

I am potentially going to be on national television again with my puppets.

I got to headline a theatre 2 nights in a row, and this has been a dream of mine forever.

The photos from the shoot look great, and the shoot was fun.

The puppet work and voice work from the short film was so much fun I was upset when we wrapped. And when everyone left, I was sad we had to say goodbye because I liked them so much.

So far the music video looks awesome.

My acting and writing teacher are both awesome, too.

Bottom line, sometimes it takes helping someone else to get out of your own bullshit to realize that's what it is, bullshit. With that I turned my frown upside down and replaced it with an attitude of gratitude. I am doing what I always have wanted to do and I am getting paid to do it. I don't want for anything, and I am healthy.

You can't get tired when you are chasing your dreams. Especially if your dreams are to make others laugh and smile.

And if you do, you simply need to eat more red meat.

Oh, and if you are in a funk, be of service to someone else. You are in your own quick sand. You are in your darkness. Don't fall victim to the crap in your head. We all have a blind side, and sometimes it is stepping outside ourselves to assist someone else that clears our focus.

Love
April