Hunk

They say you are the man

Something of a sexpot

Your appeal is something I never got

Using women

To you we are chattle

Objects

Traded in the market

For a price

Dismayed

You wish

You were living in the Middle East

Where we could be traded like cattle

Maybe a blonde for a red

How does she give head?

If she gives good head,

Does she talk too much?

Does she blush when I speak?

Do I make her knees weak?

Nevermind, she is too smart for me.

Product in your hair

Lothario

Is that your legal name?

Or is it Romeo?

Somedays you go by Casanova

You say you love women

Why don’t you give her a black eye?

Either way, you are nothing but an abuser

A liar

Want my money?

Want to live rent free?

Want to ruin my credit?

Oh most definitely you do

You believe your looks will get you

Where you need to go

As you lie about liking an intelligent woman

Sorry, my esteem is not low enough for you

My IQ is much too high

Why don’t you jump off a bridge?

And why don’t you die?

The world is a better place without you

Women won’t feel the need to pander to you

Blow your brains out your sleazy snake

All your lines are absolutely fake

Just like the story about your dead father

Just like you

Your father is probably alive and well

Without a clue as to what his story is being spun for

To capture some whore

When I said whore

I meant you. 

Feeling Better

I am starting to feel better. Contrary to what I might believe, my boss does not hate me. None of my bosses do. I am starting an exciting new job in Times Square this week. I am also having an editor look over my book, six weeks until we ebook baby. Oh and my song was number three on the FJS Indie Music countdown. I knew "Stay" had hit potential, now to just get it to the top of the charts. As for other things, it looks like I have the most amazing opportunity to tell my story about being a dating violence survivor. All these things and more are making me happy.

This Monday I go to the beach with my mom and dad for a few days which I need. While the physical pain has subsided, I still just feel a general exhaustion. I did my anger management pilot today, good stuff.

As for the guys in my life, eh there are none. Just me fan boys.

We called Holden today as a part of the pilot I filmed to yell at him for being a mooch. He shut his phone off of course. I am to the point where I don't want updates. While I want to see him get his act together, get his kids back, fly right; I know it will not happen. I know I am a fool to wait around until that plane lands. It's not going to land between his arrest warrants and other issues he has looming over head.

As for Kindred Spirit, that Dick Suave is being tagged in this chick's photos on facebook. I don't know, he has desperate, insecure, and ugly women calling him a hunk. He thinks he's a lothario which is disgusting. I don't know what's more unattractive, the fact that he thinks women are on this planet to serve him? Or perhaps it is the fact that his best days are so far behind him that it's not even funny. His inner-circle is pretty misogynistic, and I would have probably killed these apes who only learned how to speak and walk upright a mere week ago. Nonetheless, his career is basically over. He will have plenty of time to play catch with his female admirers.

Sigh, that's where I am at
Love,
April

Winner of the Week: Michael Cooney

Little Michael Cooney has cerebral palsy. His father, Staff Sargent Jeremy Cooney was away in Iraq. For years the family communicated on skype. While his father was away at war, with the help of his mother, little Michael learned how to walk. When his father came home, not only was he overjoyed at seeing his family, but even more overjoyed at the surprise his little boy had for him.

Watching this video made me cry, and it made me want to give little Michael Cooney a big old hug and medal of honor. People complain about trivial things, while this little man is happy he can walk.

Ho Mikey go! Many great things in your future. Just like your father, you are a courageous man and fighter. We all have learned so much from you. You might be six years old, but you are much braver than many people who are generations older. AWESOME WORK BIG GUY!!!!

Click here to see the video

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/marine-returning-home-greeted-6-old-son-learned-130055137.html

Loser of the Week: Bristol Palin

This week's loser of the week is Bristol Palin. The daughter of Tea Party found and Alaskan gov, this woman has no redeeming qualities. She is spoiled, was caught on video drinking and smoking pot, and is a big old breeding lump. On top of that, her lazy, skanky ass is unable to lose the baby weight she acquired as a result of being a big old slut and unwed mother. I wouldn't be slamming her, except she had the audacity to clobber her hooves on dancing with the stars as those thunder thighs made mini-earthquakes.

Now she is saying that marriage should be between one man and one woman, and everyone needs a strong father. Bitch, the last time I checked your baby daddy was absentee and you HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK!!!!

Anyway, this was the well written blog entry by the future scholar. I would suggest she invest in lucite shoes and swing from the nearest pole, but I want the sleazy men who frequent strip clubs to keep their lunch as well as well as their eye sight. And of course, I do not want that poor pole to break:




"While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.
In this situation, it was the other way around. I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren’t younger, or perhaps today’s press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.
Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking. In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee."

I am a breeding lump, homophobe, and moron. Don't worry though, I know the Bible better than you do. PS. If you see that homeless man on the corner that whistled at me, tell him he's right, big booty girls do it better. And I am available in five after this photo. Bye Mom.

Yes, You Too Can End Up As a Missing Person

Ladies, want to make some extra cash? Well this is an ad for real on craigslist. While you might meet your future Ted Bundy or Richard Ramirez at this event, they will be trustworthy men who apologize and buy you dinner before they ultimately rape you and kill you.

Here's the ad.

Wanted: Female Assistant for Hedonism Workshop.


Assist guiding couples through a variety of positions and scenes
Must be attractive, outgoing, and willing to appear nude
This is an ongoing/part time gig
Respond with one face, and one full body pic, preferably naked
Also include a phone number

Rainbow in the Dark (Ronnie James Dio)

I have been hitting a rough patch lately that is physical, financial, and spiritual. For starters, old injuries of mine have been acting up due to the ongoing inclement weather. Financial, April was a hard month and I have been the most broke I have been in a while. Between Easter and Passover falling on one weekend, being injured, and then things just being as they are it has been hard. Spiritual, when you are broke and hurting and hobbling about as your phone is not ringing and nothing is getting better, it's hard to talk about how good life is. Especially when it is raining outside.

Last Thursday, after an event I attended, I had a mini breakdown that was both physical and psychological in some ways. A lot of it was the old injuries were so oppressive that all I could do was barely walk, and they hurt so badly I just started crying. That Friday I couldn't kickbox so I took myself on a date. Saturday I was in so much physical pain that I slept for sixteen hours, and had a sinus headache on top of that. It felt good to get up Sunday, go to church, and then go for a swim. I also selected an independent editor for my book. Then Monday I started cramping up again. Tuesday I sent some emails and no one got back to me. Plus I was just such a physical mess that I forgot my credit cards at home and so much for grocery shopping. Plus some video things I was supposed to do, well I messed them up.

On top of that, my grandfather has been very sick. Truth is, is that my Pop Pop is a spry guy when he is well. Hearing stories of him telling my mom and aunts and uncles about where he was buried was just beyond depressing. Yes he is ninety three and sick, but he is still my Pop Pop. While he is currently on the upswing, Monday night/Tuesday morning my mom was freaking out because he had to be checked into the hospital.

Wednesday, I had the ultimate meltdown. Life was starting to be too fucking much. The worst thing was a guy I dated who was being mean to me when we dated is doing well. It's one more thing to add to the proverbial suck-o-meter.

Plus while work offers were coming in sort of, I hadn't heard from my boss at the telegram company. Something happened a few weeks ago with a client who pulled mad shade. While I have since seemingly redeemed myself, maybe I had gotten another complaint. Not to mention no one was getting back to me as fast as I wanted them too.

Suddenly, as I was as grizzled as I was, the phone rang. My boss. There was someone interested in booking me. Then another company I worked for. Someone also interested in booking me. While both are pending they are a good start and proof that the people I work for don't hate me.  The phone rings again, I booked a pilot Saturday. Then the email thing on my cell pinged, people for a show I have been fighting to be a part of want to see me today. Not to mention the independent editor returned my emails and yipee, she is starting on my book.

There might even be some writing jobs and comedy bookings on the horizon so I am excited about that.


Plus this morning I was jogging along, first time I have done that in weeks, and saw Tim Tebow on a poster whom I have taken a photo with. I saw an addy for Rachael Ray cupcakes, have been on her show. Saw Alexander Wang on a store window, I have delivered a singing telegram to him. Went passed Standup NY, used to be a part of a weekly show there. Point is, although it does not feel like it the universe is conspiring in my favor. It always has.

I know life is like the Wheel of Fortune Card in Tarot. What goes up goes down goes up again. I think I am starting to swing up. For the first time in almost two weeks I woke up not in pain. The sun was shining and life seems okay. I think things are starting to turn around which makes me feel better.They say the only way to get through it is to go through it, part of me wants to say screw that but we all know it's true.

Anyway, I am feeling better and think I will be more positive. I owe my fans that much. Either way, I think the worst is over and it only gets better from here. Can't wait for the release of my ebook, my film to go to festivals, my pilot to get picked up, a chance to be a part of this new show and everything else. Love, April

Rain-A Poem

You come gently

Sometimes falling quickly

Sometimes slowly

Falling

Dropping on the ground

Splish splash, the cars go by

Water

Everywhere

Cars spewing water

As a poet spews her confession

Her secrets

Her victories and shame

Miserable

I do not want to go out

Hide me under the blanket

Crying

God cries now?

Why shouldn’t I?

Thunder

Nordic Gods bowling

Loci in the building, hola.

Lightning

Zeus throwing his bolt

Fighting with his wife after an extramarital affair

Children

Walking with froggy and ducky raincoats

Engaging and avoiding the puddles

Adults

Whining

“Why does it have to rain?”

Cleaning

The pain goes away

The hurt of the past week down the sewer drain

Rainbow

A treat

The storm is over

Sun

Bright yellow ball

We appreciate it after the storm has gone