It was a long day this past Saturday. I went to a workshop with my friend Derek. My gay Rumpelstiltskin, Derek has introduced me to many celebrity friends he has as well as other glitterati with a ton of money. I initially was not going to go, but when Rumpelstiltskin comes to reclaim payment you better not mess around. Plus this is Derek’s nickname for himself, not mine, and he made it so I could get in for free. The workshop, which ran all day, turned out to be wonderful.
However I had an early morning music video shoot the next morning for a band called Delicate Steve which my puppets were starring. May needed new lashes and I had to go to Rickys. Plus I needed new lashes for myself and new makeup. In addition May’s scalp was falling off and I needed to sew that back on. Then there was curling my hair as requested by the director and picking out my outfit. Not to mention I had to get toilet paper and trash bags. While my Phantom roommate is excellent about cleaning, he had forgotten these much needed items and I figured I was out, I might as well get them. Then there was laying my stuff out so I could sneak out without waking the guy up. A few weeks ago he remarked that I slammed the door interrupting his sleep so I have made it my business to not wake him since I am growing to like the dude.
I will admit the beginning of this previous week was a little crazy. Going home for my birthday, I had the best day ever with a Steeler win and seeing my baby cousin in his light up sneakers kicking the ball. After a bunch of presents and watching Robin Hood with Russell Crowe, I looked forward to sleep. Then at three o’clock in the morning my phone rings. My Phantom roommate was on a cleaning spree. Armed and dangerous amid dateless, he had removed the nobs to clean the oven and now it wouldn’t turn off. Squawking on the other end of the phone line, my roomie informed me that the place smelled like heat and he was freaking out. I asked him what the hell he was doing cleaning at three in the morning. I also reminded him that the first rule was don’t burn down my house when I am gone. If I could have had the power I would have reached through the phone line to strangle him at that moment. However, after the super was called everyone simmered down, no pun intended. Still we were both shaken yet bonded over Stovegate. Plus I had gotten back to the city and my apartment looked immaculate. All and all the guy was forgiven once I saw how beautiful my place looked. Not to mention once I saw him we had a good laugh and he told me his big concern was where I was going to live. Nevermind the guy could have died in an explosion because our stove is a gas stove and when it leaks it could be deadly.
So now back to Saturday, when I got home after rolling my hair I had every intention of sleeping early because I had to wake up at the crack of dawn. At two o’clock in the morning I heard my roommate coming in. My guess was that he had gone to blow off some steam at the Ritz, a gay bar he frequents up the street from me. Plus he had two shows that day so I figured he was tired as the door slammed. Closing my eyes to go back to sleep I heard footsteps coming to my side of the apartment and I heard my roommate whisper, “April! April!”
Rolling over I looked up to see him. Most women look at six feet three inches of lean cut muscle and think,"Come to mama," especially since my roommate is good looking. However I know there is no chance in hell of anything happening and I was a little agitated he woke me. So I asked, "Don't tell me you got into another cleaning accident."
“Relax, it’s just me and thats not the case. Anyway, I saw this set of drawers at the bottom of the stairs and seeing that you put your clothes on shelves which is an interesting arrangement. Lets face it April, you need those drawers more than anyone I know.” It is true, I keep my clothes folded on shelves. The arrangement is chaotic but it somehow has worked for the past three plus years.
Staring up at him I asked, “Why don’t you take them?”
“Oh I have a set.” He said referring to the plastic drawers I gave him upon moving in. “However my dear you need those.”
“How the hell am I going to move them?” I asked my roommate who ironically was waking me up after I had planned my early morning so carefully as not to stir his sleep.
“Easy, you have me to help you. Come on, lets do it now before anyone steals them.” My roommate snapped his fingers which is gay speak for get the hell up now and lets move it. Mobilizing, I threw on my sneakers and was ready for some middle of the night impromptu heavy lifting.
Following him down the stairs I felt like I was in a weird dream because I was adhering to the orders of this still almost stranger that I had met on craigslist only weeks earlier. While my previous roommate was seemingly more of an open book, this guy was almost the opposite coming and going as he did letting bits and pieces out as he felt necessary. Its not better or worse, just different. As I get to know him I see it is a good different, but nonetheless, my old roommate wouldnt have woken me up to move furniture in the midst of the night!
Apologizing for the curlers in my hair, because I had no intent upon being awoken by a gay roommate who had chosen to do my sidewalk shopping for me, I told him to pardon my appearance. Not that it mattered but I wasnt expecting the neighbors to see me rolled out of bed with curlers in hair and cold cream on my face. To which he instructed me without even giving it a second thought to “rock it out.” That made me laugh harder than I had in about a week. One thing is for sure, this new roomie of mine is a hoot.
We moved the nightstand up the stairs. Then we went back for the bigger dresser. The thing was heavier than I ever imagined. However my roommate surprised me with his strength and patience. This dude whined for weeks about how he didn’t want other people to see him working out at the gym. Now here he was lifting this effortlessly and I was a little weakling. There were several times up the four flights of stairs that I had to take a break. It didn’t feel like work at a certain point because we were laughing and joking all the way up the stairs. Mostly it was about how someday I was going to tell my grandchildren the story of their crazed uncle who I lived with to which my roomie replied, "And you will say, he was a grand old man."
When we got to my apartment I was too busy laughing and happy I had drawers instead of shelves. So I gave my roommate a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek thanking him. While he had woken me up, he had still done something kind seeing I am a pathetic wreck and needed those drawers. Plus I had to admit seeing them earlier I thought about snagging them but didnt think I could get the help, and here I had it living with me. That’s when he informed me he was the muscle of the house and that's what he was there for. I couldn’t help but laugh because this is the same man who had only left a week earlier to meet a potential future husband in a red tight fitting t-shirt with sparkles. However, I was willing to let that slide seeing that he had handled the dresser and nightstand, both made from wood that would have broken my back had I gone at this alone, with no problem.
As I drifted off to bed I thought of how my roommate had almost become boyfriends with a friend of mine weeks earlier and the guy sort of fizzled out on him which stung him a little bit. My roomie instructed me to tell my friend he had missed out on a good husband. Initially wanting to stay impartial, I have gotten to know my roomie a little and I can say what what I have seen he is an incredibly thoughtful person with a big heart and my friend was a fool to let him go. Sure my roommate could still mess up, but something tells me any guy who is smart enough to snag him will be one lucky man. Cause one thing is for sure, I do not know how long he will stick around but all and all I can say he is starting to grow on me. Sure he nearly accidentally burnt my house down, but he was cleaning which is a good deed. Sure he woke me up at two am to move a dresser, but I needed one and he was right. It was a good deed.
I went back to sleep for two more hours armed and dangerous for my video shoot. More on that in the next blog. To be continued. Love April
